aches from within

i dont know if things would be the same if i let emotions overtake me.
i wonder where the problems really lie.
was you or me?
i guess it takes both hands to clap.
sorry.
forgive me for being selfish.
i'm afraid that things wouldn't have any change;
i'm worried that my feelings won't be able to hold me through if the contact continues dropping;
i'm not confident..
what if i no longer miss your call/text?
sorry.
you weren't sure of how strong our relationship is,
i'm 10 times insecure..
sorry.
you're not totally to blame,
it's me that i wasn't familiar with, too.
i love you.

if only

dilemma;
should i, or not?
how;
this way, or that?

another problem behind it;
same questions asked.
the only difference would be being able to see the ending i guess.

D:
WanLing bu kai xin.

unspoken

it's implied; but is it understood i don't know.
waiting only makes me feel even more uneasy.
i need help ):

冷了，淡了；
倦了，累了；
该结束了。
how?

oh well

i haven't been blogging.
i don't think anybody hopped by too.
never mind.

i think. i mean i did something 'so wrong'.
it's like a pet phrase to me, i don't know when it started.
the 2 words just flow out like water from the tap.

my mood is swinging: tick tock.
was feeling sorry for a moment.
but now i'm feeling a little bit.. awkward?
how should i put it?
i don't know.
but i just didn't want to let go, knowing it's not right...
then again, i feel i regained a feeling i use to have.
just a gentle pat on the head..
but it's different, already.

the feeling's badbadBAD. D:
when there's something you want to share so much
but there's nobody you could find...

i want to text you
i want to call you
i want to see you
but i don't know if 'it' means anything to you