how the hell

i dont even know what to say
i dont even know if i can do it
i dont even know if i still have the ability (to do this again)
i dont even know how the hell this episode started
i dont even know how to fucking end this shit.

i hate to bitch
i hate to see you
i hate to feel the way i am
i hate to look at you with the 'coloured' goggles
i hate to be crying w/o knowing what's wrong.

am i suppose to initiate
am i suppose to resolve this (am i even the one who started this)
am i suppose to talk to you
am i suppose to ask you?

but you just have this evil aura around you
LOL?
psychological factors.
what the f is going on.
you tell me.