defeat

guess i just have to admit.
i am alone.
i used to be so afraid of being alone,
but i was confident.
i had people around me most time; i was crazy as can be.
now?
i can only laugh, at myself; my past.
i need people there by me, but who exactly?
all around get busy with work/studies.
me?
practically wasting my everyday off, somehow.
i always claim i'm busy.
who knows?
i think i'm lying to myself sometimes.
words fall through me, & logic's a fool.