aches from within

i dont know if things would be the same if i let emotions overtake me.
i wonder where the problems really lie.
was you or me?
i guess it takes both hands to clap.
sorry.
forgive me for being selfish.
i'm afraid that things wouldn't have any change;
i'm worried that my feelings won't be able to hold me through if the contact continues dropping;
i'm not confident..
what if i no longer miss your call/text?
sorry.
you weren't sure of how strong our relationship is,
i'm 10 times insecure..
sorry.
you're not totally to blame,
it's me that i wasn't familiar with, too.
i love you.

if only

dilemma;
should i, or not?
how;
this way, or that?

another problem behind it;
same questions asked.
the only difference would be being able to see the ending i guess.

D:
WanLing bu kai xin.

unspoken

it's implied; but is it understood i don't know.
waiting only makes me feel even more uneasy.
i need help ):

冷了，淡了；
倦了，累了；
该结束了。
how?

oh well

i haven't been blogging.
i don't think anybody hopped by too.
never mind.

i think. i mean i did something 'so wrong'.
it's like a pet phrase to me, i don't know when it started.
the 2 words just flow out like water from the tap.

my mood is swinging: tick tock.
was feeling sorry for a moment.
but now i'm feeling a little bit.. awkward?
how should i put it?
i don't know.
but i just didn't want to let go, knowing it's not right...
then again, i feel i regained a feeling i use to have.
just a gentle pat on the head..
but it's different, already.

the feeling's badbadBAD. D:
when there's something you want to share so much
but there's nobody you could find...

i want to text you
i want to call you
i want to see you
but i don't know if 'it' means anything to you

never say never

never say you'll never be so 'suay' to get some dead bird lying around..
..somewhere near you.
i've seen 3, already.

i seriously dont know what feeling is in me.
i dont even know what i'm talking about.
is it the status kind of issue?
concentration risk.
too much of core.
but i think im undertaking that kind of risk now.
baby came over to bai nian today..(:
kind of weird.


i need time to sort out what's in me.
i need time to identify the 'why'.
i need help but i bet the help can only be me.
i walk alone.
ms Sarah said, "she's always alone".
does it mean i have to? D: i dont want to.
do i have a choice, anyway?
not everything is reciprocal, what to do?

one step forward, two steps back

"without love we won't die"

"don't let love short-change you"

what's next?

klah,
ms sarah and mr gavin talked to me.. and wyang.
abt the ocp.. and smth else.
LOLOL.
left me undecided.
but things should be the same in the end.
the 'alone' element.. (not me lor! is the class, please.)

we should learn to support each other, dear.
not to instruct (:

went to find baby and back alone, again.
but he has things to complete, what to do?

so, what is love?

last public speaking tutorial.
i'm missing Mr. Jeff alr D:
it's really nice of him to share his personal experiences with us.
made the cold LT so heart-warming.
took a pic with him.
muhahaha.
hope i dont lose my phone again! D:
still missing my k850i k!

back to the topic.
Mr. Jeff made 2 presentations today.
- The difference between men and women.
conclusion: it's all about the communication! (:
- What is LOVE?
based on what i recall...
LOVE
!= seek to hurt
= painful
!= obssession
= possession
!= sacrificing
= givng

somewhere during his presentation,
he hit the jackpot...
made me think really hard loh!
then after that kellynn told me her views,
i sort of agree with her.
maybe it's time i face the fact?